We often hear about how social media is having a negative impact on our teens and young adults. There's a drastic increase in anxiety and depression among these age groups. And while this is very alarming, I also wonder what it is doing to us mothers. Social media can be a way to escape the trials of every day life. However, social media often only gives us what appears to be someone's perfect life. The more we view this on social media, the more likely we are to fall into the comparison trap. Not only that, we also begin to doubt ourselves, our ability to homeschool and our ability to be a good mom. Do you struggle with this? Are you wondering how to be a better mom and a better example of positive self-image for your children?
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Plagued by Negative Thinking
Last year I was really feeling bogged down by negativity. It was getting so bad that I felt depressed. Two things happened that have miraculously turned my thinking around:
- A friend recommended I read a book by Norman Vincent Peale. He's a Christian author that I've since learned is not liked by some Catholics. Not me! I devoured his book, "The Power of Positive Living". For some reason (grace, I'm assuming) it made so much sense to me. I quickly followed it up by
- Going on my yearly retreat of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius preached by the awesome priests of Miles Christi. The grace I received during this retreat was powerful. Not every retreat is like that, mind you, but God knew I needed a good dose of grace to get me back on track.
This new way of positive thinking got me craving more. I found a few more of Peale's books and have been recommending them to many other moms who I have seen struggling to feel good about themselves and their state in life.
Wondering How to be a Better Mom?
One of the books I've been reading every day is "Have a Great Day" These are daily reflections meant to help you think more positively. We all know that the more positively we think about things the better life will be.
Having a positive mindset about yourself, your family and your homeschool will help you to be a better mom and give you more confidence about what you are doing.
I honestly can see now how negative I used to be. All those years of negativity have definitely had an impact on my children, as I can see how they tend toward the negative, too.
This has motivated me to help myself even more, and to help them, and you, as well. Having a strong belief in yourself is definitely the place to start!
Here's 5 Things You Can Do
The other day the daily reflection from "Have a Great Day" was about 5 things you can do every day to help you to be more positive and to believe in yourself. Believing in yourself, coupled with thinking more positively, will radically change your life.
According to Peale, once a day you should:
- "Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade." For example, put in your mind an image of a good homeschool day. Think about how you will act and how your kids will behave. What things will you accomplish? How will you incorporate fun and enjoyment? Conjure up this image and hang on to it all day long.
- "Whenever a negative thought concerning your ability comes to mind, deliberately voice a positive thought to cancel it out". This happens so often as homeschooling mothers, doesn't it? Instead, think positive thoughts to counter these negative ones. For example, 'My children are learning in a unique way, tailored to them, and they are learning at a pace suited to their needs.'
- "Do not build obstacles in your imagination." In other words, stop making problems out of things that aren't problems. When you do encounter a true problem, size it up and figure out how to deal with it. There are enough things to worry about, don't make up extra ones.
- "Do not be awestruck by other people or try to copy them. Nobody can be you as efficiently as you can." I think we need to print this out and tape it to our refrigerators. Social media gives us a distorted view of other people's lives. DO NOT be awestruck by that and don't try to copy them. Be yourself and realize that you are uniquely and wonderfully made by a God who loves you!
- "Ten times a day repeat these words: 'If God can be for me, who can be against me?'" Remember that! God is in your corner. He loves you and wants you to succeed. I also know that He will give you all of the graces you need to succeed! You just need to ask for them.
Believe in Yourself
If you struggle with self-doubt and negativity, make sure to practice the above five steps every day.
In addition:
- Get good books about how to think more positively.
- Practice having a better outlook and give your family members the benefit of the doubt more often.
- Find some good podcasts that will motivate you to think better about yourself and your situation.
- Pray to God for the grace to be a positive person - one who believes in herself and in the mission that God has put before her.
- When you find yourself wondering how you can be a better mother, take a moment and know that you are a beloved child of God and that He has given you all you need to do His work on earth!
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