Life is full of struggles when you're a mom. There are all of the struggles of being pregnant and having a newborn. Then you have to figure out how to take care of multiple children and not leave anyone behind. One of my bigger struggles as a mom of small children was definitely consistency. As my children have gotten older, however, the struggle has changed. I have found myself more and more at battle with the fact that I can't solve all of their problems, and that my role must change.
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The Problems of Little Kids
When your kids are little, their problems are little. A boo-boo here, a fear there. Easy-peasy, right? All it takes, most of the time, is a hug and some reassurance and things get better.
As they get a little bit older, their problems might take a little more time to deal with. Those sibling rivalries might require a bit of negotiating. Maybe some space is needed between some of the kids.
Discipline starts to become more prevalent, maybe even requiring some research and trial-and-error on your part. Through prayer and reaching out to others for advice, it seems to be something we moms can handle.
As they Get Older...
...their problems get bigger and more serious. It was at this stage that I realized that I am no longer capable of solving all of their problems. This particular struggle as a mom is difficult to deal with.
For so many years we've been able to solve their problems. I don't know about you, but being able to do that was comforting. I'm naturally a peace-keeping/problem solving kind of gal, so maintaining harmony in the home and peace in my children's lives was important to me on many levels.
My Changing Role
As my children have gotten older and their problems have gotten bigger and more difficult, I realized my role had to change. It's not my job to solve their problems anymore. I can listen and offer advice and help when asked, but it's up to them to figure it out.
I'll admit, that took a bit for me to get used to. When you've been in problem solving mode for so many years, turning off that switch is hard. I definitely still worry about them, but that's where having a good prayer life comes into play. I must turn my worry over to the Lord and trust that He will take care of them.
Another thing, in addition to prayer, that I've found helpful is having something to focus on for myself. Learning about and creating this blog keeps me focused on something other than my kids (most of whom are adults now, btw).
If I didn't have something else to occupy my time, I know I would end up spending too much of my free time worrying about my kids. That's why it's good to take care of yourself! As your kids age and don't need you as much, you won't flounder around feeling useless. Don't wait till this happens, plan ahead for it and have some things going on before you get to this stage.
There Will Always be Struggles as a Mom
I know that. They will change as everyone ages. Given our world today, the likelihood of those struggles being serious and difficult is high.
With prayer and a good plan of self-care, however, we will be able to change and grow right along with our kids.
Can you relate to this struggle as a mom? If so, how have you dealt with it? I'd love to hear from you, so leave a comment below.